


Come back, my love

by D_A_Y



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Crank Newt (Maze Runner), M/M, update in June (sorry for that)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 14:24:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17982788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_A_Y/pseuds/D_A_Y
Summary: Thomas found Newt when he went back to search for supplies. Newt is alive but turned into a Crank because of the Flare. Thomas   and his friends managed to get him out of a bunch of Cranks at the risk of their lives. Unfortunately, normal serum failed to save him. And Thomas is trying hard to find a way to cure him.





	Come back, my love

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Newtmas fanfic! My native language is not English so some of the words or tenses maybe weird. I would appreciate it if you could point them out.  
> I will update the following in June after my college entrance examinations. And this chapter will be modified a little by then, like setting the lines up, making my sentences more logical, adding some beauty of words and making it longer.

1-  
It has been half a year since they escaped from WCKD and came to Safe Heaven. Life here is safe and free as they wished for thousands of times before. Everything has stepped on track.

As night falls, the young are sitting around the bonfire in a circle, talking and laughing. Thomas swallows the last roast on his plate, then takes one last sip of the can of coke at his feet.  
" I'm done. " He stands up and says to Minho, who is busy talking with a girl sitting behind him. Mihno looks up and nods to him, then immediately returns to the conversation with the girl, right hand resting on her knee. Placing the empty coke can on the plastic plate, the brunette carefully bypasses the crowd and walks out of the circle. He hands the plate and the can to two women standing nearby. They are in charge of garbage disposal today, standing in front of a small platform built by bricks, and washing plates in a large pot filled with water on the platform. A water pipe is available at their feet in case they need clean water to scour the plates.

One of the girls nods to him with a smile and opens the sack beside her. The sack is filled with all kinds of metal cans and the girl causally throws the coke can in. She puts the plate in the pot and looks up to Thomas who offers a reciprocal smile and says thank you before he turns away. 

"We're having a party at Minho's place tomorrow afternoon, wanna come join us?" Behind him, the other girl says, and Thomas stops. She hesitates for a millionth of a second before she continues.  
"You know, we all want to know more about you." The invitation in the girl's voice is very obvious.

It's not the first time Thomas has been invited. Life in Safe Heaven is so peaceful and secure that hormones and adrenaline that used to be depleted by upheaval and turmoil are now quickened with new uses, which are, what their normal roles should be .  
Actually, several young, excited, apparently love-struck couples have already moved in their own log cabins and begun living together. Thomas thinks that before long new life will be born here. Jesus Christ, new life, renewal, infants, these words should have been distant!

He believes that most of the people here never have lonely nights or anything like that.  
No wonder for a period of time a few people had whispered to each other whenever they saw him, as if wondering if he is kinda impotent.

Thomas just laughed and ignored it. About half a year ago, he was still drawing up a plan for looting a train from WCKD. Every morning before he got out of his sleeping bag, he was afraid that Cranks would rush out from somewhere. Every night before he fell asleep, he prayed that he would not be woken by a flashlight from the WCKD.

What do people here think every day? How to grow more wheat, how to roast better meat and how to be more attractive to have a wonderful night.

He doesn't think it is wrong or improper. What they went all out for is freedom at the very start. And this is freedom.

Thomas sighs softly. His voice fades into a sudden burst of laughter from the crowd near the bonfire. He turns, shakes his head with an apologetic smile.

There's really nothing wrong with that. They have no reason not to enjoy themselves there. No Crank, no flare, no WCKD, this is safe heaven, just like its name. The only downside is no Newt, and this tips Thomas straight into the its-all-meaningless abyss.

He did imagine various future with unrestrained minds, but none of them was without Newt.

It wasn't until Thomas woke up and sat around the bonfire on the beach, surrounded by energetic and happy youngsters, and opened the letter Newt had left that he realized for the first time that he had lost Newt, forever. And all the future he had planned was meaningless and even absurd.

Thomas walks towards the stone monument. He is wearing only a thin shirt and the night wind makes him a little cold.  
The moon side of the stone is so pale and bright that it almost stabsThomas's eyes like a knife, while the back of it is as dark as a black hole. Newt's name is hidden in the shadows, but that doesn't matter, for Thomas can find its position with his eyes closed.

N-E-W-T, the brunette fingers the letters he carved. Above him is the brilliant sky with stars up and behind him is the flickering bonfire with a circle of people whose laughter and conversation seems to come from the water and are dimly audible. 

He comes here every night after he woke up. Occasionally, his old friends, like Minho and Frypan, come and stand by the stone with him, talking about the past, mostly the Glade time that Thomas doesn't know much, which is the only happy time before they came here. At first they comes every three days, then every week, then every month, so most of the nights Thomas is alone here.

Everyone in Safe Heaven stands around the stone monument every three months, three layers in and three layers out, remembering those who died for the present life.

Thomas doesn't blame his friends. This monument represents the painful, laborious and unstable life in the past. The carefree and transient time in the Glade is like a small candle in the darkness of endless pain, which is absolutly insignificant when compared with the merriment here.

He doesn't blame the young who had been saved. There is no real grief in remembering someone you have never met or only met for few times.

In fact, Thomas, standing in front of the stone, is only thinking about Newt. Every night, he mumbles in a small voice as if he were talking to Newt.

He talks about things that happened before, about their first meeting, about the Maze, about the prickly grass and the warm sunshine in the Glade. Only then does he remember Ably and Chuck, which is a bit heartless, but the other names don't really make any sense to him.

In fact, Thomas is quite content to stand here alone. He's not in a position to ask anyone else to be with him all the time, as if this someone is also tying his heart to the blonde, like Thomas. Newt is just a great mate to others. Thomas wants to stand alone by the stone, which serves as a vehicle for remembering Newt. 

The departure of his friends reminds the brunette of the past.  
At that time, without knowing who was the first to sniff the restless hormones and budding love between them, everyone moved away from them with a tacit understanding, creating precious space for them.  
There was a tacit silence on the night when Newt and he occasionally disappeared together. They were welcomed with a vague look, looking them up and down, in the morning.  
At such times, Newt would always be the first to blush, and he would frown and punch the winking Minho as if something had happened to them.  
They did nothing but kiss and touch each other. With the threatening Cranks and WCKD, it was the most sexual contact they could make. They had to stay awake and stay in top physical condition.  
When Newt couldn't take it anymore, he would grab Thomas's shirt and kiss him on the cheek, grinning smugly with the I-have-a-boyfriend look. Thomas would smile and kiss him back in a brust of winks and ohs.

He talks about recent events and the trivia in Safe Heaven, like new drinks and new kinds of chips they find in the city. He chuckles about how popular Minho's Asian face is, and how the girls look at him with sexually suggestive eyes.

He also talks about the future, like the new lives to come. He thinks that they should start preparing for pergnant mothers and the infants, so the next time they go to the decaying cities, they should find someone who knows how to help the pergnant give birth to a baby. Whenever he says something about future plans, he pauses for a moment, as if waiting for Newt's idea.

Of course, he talks about how he turns down the invitations from girls again and again.

"You know why the refusal," Thomas sighs. The breeze is so cold that he shivers. He steps closer to the stone, thinking of how wonderful it would be if this were Newt instead of the cold rock, and the blonde would grin at how little he was wearing, then hug him tight and warm him with his body temperature, just like what they did on every cold desert night.

At this thought an unbearable sadness possesses the brunette. Newt never has the chance to let the sea breeze comb his hair, nor to feel the soft and cool touch of sand under his feet when walking with bare feet on the afternoon beach. But the sunburnt sand is scorching hot and Thomas is sure that Newt doesn't like that feeling. 

Newt could have had so many choices, as did the young at Safe Heaven. He could have been a runner, like Thomas and Minho, searching for supplies in cities. He could have helped Frypan prepare food. He could have been in charge of logistics, with Sonya.  
Of course, if he likes, they could have had a log cabin of their own like many other couples, sleeping together every night just like before, laughing at some little silly things.

He can do whatever teenages at his age is supposed to do, living a carefree life, drinking canned coke, having a barbecue in front of a bonfire, chatting with friends and feeling the wonderful chemical reactions of the hormones.

He deserves it all, or rather, it's unfair for him to not have it. He has given as much as, if not better than,Thomas, Minho and anybody here.

He is Alby's second-in-command in the Glade, and then follows Thomas all the way to a turbulent life.  
Whenever Thomas says something, the blonde is the first to support him unconditionally. He is the first to come to Thomas. It is as early as the brunette's first night at the Glade when he sat next to him, handing him a bar of snickers, and then he never left.

Thomas was opposed, questioned and betrayed, which made him feel as if he was falling in an ice cellar, but Newt had always been there for him, supporting him and comforting him.  
At Jason's base, for example, when Thomas was panicky and crawled back to his dorm, yelling "it's not safe here!!", the first reaction from others was either disbelief or panic. Newt, however, put his hand on his shoulder, calming the brunette and asking him what he could do to help him.

The only time Newt ever confronted him was because of the Flare, the damn deadly virus that took Newt away from him.

How devastated Thomas was to learn that Newt was not immune and he couldn't stop thinking why was it Newt who was injured and infected with the Flare. Why weren't the immune others, like himself, to get scratched by Cranks, which is not even fatal to them? Everything here wouldn't exist without Newt. Why isn't he here, enjoying everything that belongs to him?

Thomas feels sad, and he fingers back and forth along the scratch that runs through the four letters, which cruelly represents the death of the name owner.  
The deep cut that Thomas had carved into the stone through Newt's name isn't rough enough for the brunette to feel much pain from his fingertips.  
Thomas wishes that his fingers could hurt a little more to the degree that his flesh is torn apart to reveal the bones and his flesh is marked with the everlasting pain, just like how his heart is forever tormented by his losing Newt. But that is not enough. Even a little less pain would be suspected of betrayal. It was as devastating as not staying with Newt the night WCKD burned. He has brushed the four letters every night since he woke up, as if if only his flesh and blood could flatten the stone, the fact of Newt's death would also disappear.

"It has been nearly half a year." The brunette says in a tiny and dry voice, barely above a whisper, as if someone has stuffed a ball of cotton down his throat.

Thomas comes over every night because he is afraid. He is afraid of forgeting, which is kinda like a betrayal.

Newt also mentioned that he was afraid of forgetting things in his letter, but what he feared was the amnesia that the Flare brought. In fact, even without the Flare, memory loss can happen and is more common than anyone could ever imagined. Memory is never a reliable thing, and the fade of it is inevitable.

He can remember neither Janson's face nor Ava's voice nor what the Griever he killed in the Maze looked like. He can picture neither Ably's specific look nor Chuck's face with his eyes closed. It is not that he did not care about the latter two. He hardly has to think about it to recall the pain of losing them. Alby was taken away by a Griever, and Chuck died to protect him. Before his death, the little boy put a small wooden carving into his hand.  
He does remember most of the past now, but memories are like grains of sand in an hourglass, slipping from the memory gap, submerging in forgetfulness little by little over time.  
He has so many memories with Newt, even more complicated than the Maze they managed to escape from, and he is loath to forget anything.  
He had asked Minho if he still remembered the map of the Maze that he had run through for so many years and once said proudly to him that he had memorized every brick in it.  
The Asian boy looked at him with an are-you-kidding-me expression and shruged.  
Thomas knew it meant how it could be remembered, not how it could not be remembered.

So he has to remind himself of the past over and over again, including how the blonde stabbed a knife in his own heart with a relief smile for not having to hurt him and how powerless it was to see the blonde lying lifeless on the ground with nothing he could do.  
Compared with the pain of the memories and stagnation of his turbulent past, it was not acceptable for him to forget newt.

"Hey!" So suddenly does Minho's low voice come from behind Thomas that the brunette almost jumps. Then the he is patted on the shoulder and his thoughts are interrupted.

Thomas turns to look at Minho, who goes to his right. In the faint moonlight, the Asian looks a little drunk with a light smell of beer. Though his eyes kinda blurs, the expression on his face is too serious to belong on such a happy night.

Thomas looks over his shoulder. As he expected, there is a girl with light golden curls standing not far behind them. Behind her is the light of the bonfire, which outlines a halo around her, and makes the edge of her light hair almost shine.

Thomas looks back at Minho and finds that he, too, is looking back at the girl, with a soft expression.  
The brunette feels a sudden twinge of guilt. There seems to be a boundary around the stone monument, isolating all the good and happy things, leaving only a sponge-like cold stone, insolently absorbing everything but emptiness and pain.

"What's up? " Before he speaks, the brunette swallows briefly, trying to steady his voice.  
"Nothing, just to let you know I'm going back." Minho shrugs and looks away from the girl with difficulty. He stars at Thomas for a moment and opens his mouth as if to say something.  
"You know you should..." Minho frowns and lets the rest of his voice melt into the night.  
He shakes his head, sighs and shrugs again, trying to keep the mood alive in a lighthearted way. "Well, I kinda like that girl, you know what I mean."

"Then the next time we go to the city, we need to prepare for the new life to come." Not willing to disappoint Minho's kindness, the brunette forces a wink and says in a light tone as much as he can. Then he pats his friend on the shoulder. 

"Thank you." He says.  
Minho smiles and walks towards the girl, putting his arm around her.

Thomas knows what Minho was going to say. It's all about things like you should move on and not be stuck in the past. 

But how could he forget Newt?  
How dare he forget Newt？

The world gave him the chance to meet the blonde, to know what it is like to have such a friend, partner and lover.  
He knows the blonde's strength, dependability, loyalty and his love without reservations. 

He is sure that they are destined for each other and that no one else in the world would ever suit him so well.

He has seen the glint of Newt's smile. He has seen Newt just waking up from sleep.  
He has heard Newt's suppressed gasps and groans. He has heard Newt whispering his name in an obsessed voice.  
He has known the damp and soft touch of Newt's lips. He has known that the blonde would furrow his brow, close his eyes, and subconsciously folds his legs together when orgasm comes.

It is Newt who lets him know that there is someone out there who believes in you, supports you, and loves you more than he loves himself.  
It is Newt who shows him that he can love someone in the same unreserved way.  
How could he forget Newt after all these?

But fate has so casually divided them.

They can't create the future. They don't have the present.  
If they lose the past, what's left?

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapter is about Thomas' finding Newt accidentally when being chased by hundreds of Cranks (Newt is one of them) and how they plan to get Newt back.  
> part of it : (kinda suicide attempt)
> 
> Well, Thomas has to admit that though it is unlikely for him to die in cities, he does have some hope. Newt has been following him for so long, maybe it's time for him to make his first move to follow Newt.  
> He knows that what he has now is obviously what Newt should have had, and the fact that Newt had not made it is unbearable, makes the brunette feel guilty. But he also knows his commiting suicide is not what Newt wanted, so he never tries. However, this fearless devotion seems like a possible way to chase Newt.


End file.
